Jason Wu, My Superbowl

My Lombardi Trophy

There was a reason I couldn't fall back asleep this morning at 7:53am. I was about to doze right through a momentous event. No, it was not getting ready for the Super Bowl, like any red-blooded American today. As I checked my Twitter, someone's tweet tipped me off: The new Jason Wu line at Target was finally here.


Target had opened its doors at 8am. It was only 8:15, so I still had time. I was tired and congested, swathed in a hot pink sweatshirt and black sweat shortpants. I had two choices: Try to go back to bed, knowing I was missing out on fashion normally worth up to $5,000 a piece, or suck it up and get Wu (60 items under $60 in the entire collection!). I owed it to myself as a super shopper, runny nose or not. I put on my proverbial helmet and mouth guard and sprinted to the nearest Target.


I was a pro, the Tom Brady and Eli Manning of sales and clearance racks. I knew what was fabulous and what wasn't. I'd seen the inside of a dressing room a time or two in my life. I was not afraid to grab an armful of clothes and buzz-saw past ladies who still didn't know if they looked better in turquoise or red. Amateurs. The rabid 8am crowd beat me to the accessories, but I was not about to leave empty-handed.


I whipped outfits on and off like a supermodel backstage between runway walks. I heard a banal woman whining to her friends, "I don't know if I like the color." Lady, if you don't know what you look good in by now, you best leave. This was not a social hour. This was war. I almost even lost a dress when I picked the wrong size. Luckily, a Target dressing room employee, my own personal quarterback, ran out and made the play for the right one. My Lombardi Trophy was a white silky dress with fine pearls along the neckline.


As I slid into the end zone (checkout), I felt like wildly gyrating or smacking a teammate's rear (which is frowned upon for shopping trips, by the way). Even my lovely older man cashier admired the pearls. Now when people ask me where they can get my dress, I can say, "Sorry, but you had to be in the game."


For my MVP speech, I'd like to thank God for making my runny nose wake me up this morning.